Graduation happened for my little fellows and it was amazing!!!!! I watched a few of my kids graduate and get ready for the next chapter in their life. These are kids I have been in the trenches with and for and I have seen them learn to communicate, play with peers, learn to share, learn to “school” and most importantly change their behavior. I am so crazy proud and terrified for them in their next chapter. I know they are capable of learning and succeeding in any task they face. My fear is that they wont have the assistance needed to do so. I worry that their next teacher wont catch the clues they give off, that the kids will be mean, that they will get lost, that they will feel alone or misunderstood, that no one will be there to hug them and let them know that they are absolutely amazing and that there is someone who believes in them. Three of my babies will move on to kindergarten next year and I am so excited that they will have another year with the dream team (my co-workers). This year they have made so much progress on sitting (you take this skill for granted until you meet a child that cant sit for over 5 seconds), following teacher instructions, eating lunch, eating lunch in a timely manner, trying new foods, eating with peers, appropriate play with toys and manipulatives, learning to play musical chairs and duck duck goose, learning to use a pencil to work with, how to color a picture (and in different colors), how to band together and protect each other (makes me teary eyed to think about it). And this was all this first year!! I cant wait to see what the next year holds for them. I have decided I will not return to my position the next school year. Although it makes me sad to think about not working with my co-workers and not seeing my babies make progress I know that it is time for me to move on. Besides the pain I am in on a daily basis I just can not continue to do this job at this location anymore. I am in need of financial gain and am excited to do something new! And maybe even something in my fields (Social Work) since I haven’t done that since obtaining my Masters. Here is a toast to the future 🍷
Hmmm…not much to report! The guy that talked a lot is gone!!! Praise God. The friend form school (liked each other but it wont work because he isn’t ready for any type of commitment.Well at least not with me. So friends it is) and I are kind of in an odd place right now. I did talk to my best friend today and I feel so much better!! It is amazing how sharing something with your bestie just makes everything better. I also went to lunch with another really great friend!! We always have fun and she has been there with me through all of this. I feel alone sometimes (mostly in the middle of the night lol when its just me and God) but I have such a great support system. I think I have to allow them in and support me sometimes instead of trying to do it alone and suffer through. I’m sure I say “No thanks, I’ve got it” or “No I don’t need help” like 20 times a day when i really could use the help. I did go to the beach over the long holiday weekend!!! It was absolutely amazing!!! I was able to relax and get in some major Vitamin D!! Most importantly I taught no classes and did not go to work. I haven’t had 2 days in a row where this has happened since Feb. I was interested to see if this would help with the pain or not. I was terrified that I would not be able to last the entire 6 hour drive there but I did!!! I made it there and back. There I even drove about 2 hours. I had to stop a few times and I got out at red lights (kids don’t try this at home) but I did it and I am so proud of myself and my body. Since being I have had one date and it was amazing!! I have had a person playing yo yo with my emotions and my life so I have been emotionally drained the past few days. I thought my body would react negatively due to the stress but it hasn’t been awful…bad but not awful! That is a blessing!!!
Body and Symptoms:
Soo lets see… could I walk the last post?? I’m not sure. So we will start there. I used a wheelchair for a few days due to the pain being so incredibly bad when I walked. I tried crutches but they just messed up my arms and left bruises. I have noticed I am bruising a lot more lately. After the two days I made myself get up and just handle it. It was rough but I made it. It is funny that you never really notice how far things are until you anticipate the pain from every step you have to take to get to your destination….and steps….I HATE STEPS!!!! I did see my neurologist whom said nothing. Well not nothing. He did say that it is NOT M.S and for that I praise God!!!! My Rheumatologist had an emergency and now I will see her next week. Ughhhhhh! I am really hoping that she has some sort of news. I did find out that my grandmother (organs), uncle (skin) and cousin (joints and muscles) had/have lupus. Their Lupus affected different areas in () above. My cousin symptoms actually align with mine. She is taking Zyflamend so I started taking that along with fish oil and the vitamin D. I have been able to feel some relief over the past few weeks. Everyday all day is not painful anymore. I am so happy about this! Any relief is a huge deal!!!! While on the vacation I was not able to swim much because the water was so cold in the beach and at the pool. I did get in twice for about 2-3 minutes. I was able to get in to the hot tub!!! AHHHH it felt good for a little while until it started stinging my skin. It was worth it to relax my muscles. I have noticed heat helps a lot!!!! I try to stay warm and use heating pads as well as pain patches from Walmart. They work to get me through class. I have noticed my energy level is not as high as it was, my sleeping is not as much as it was and my memory seems to be a little hazy! My body also feels tight overall, like a puffy swollen feeling but its everywhere and I cant see anything on the outside of my skin.
I am going to insert the last update of pain places and symptoms list I took to the doctor. The marks on the body are where I am hurting or my skin is sensitive.
Thank you guys for continuing to read, pray for and follow my story!! Talk to you soon!!!