I woke up Tuesday with a swollen hand, arm on fire and a heart full of joy from last night. Tuesday was a pretty chilled day. I worked, worked, showed off a little to my boss about the kid I work with in the afternoons. The child did amazing and surprised me and my boss. This is a reminder of why I do what I do. Seeing a kid make progress and knowing its because of me makes walking in pain, crying in the middle of the night, working through burning skin all worth while. Life is good. After work I showed my vehicle that I’m selling and then begin prepping my meals. Lol I have had these groceries since Sunday but just haven’t had the strength to cook. Although my hands were hurting and swollen I still had to chop up squash and clean the kitchen. I did an easy meal where I chop it up pour it in the crockpot and forget about it. I also made some peanut butter and flaxseed meal cookies for when I want something sweet. I finished the kitchen then got in the bed. Although I didn’t fall asleep until 11 it was still nice laying down. I woke up around 12,2 and 4 in pain. I checked the weather to begin to think about what I was going to wear the next day. Crap!!! Its going to be cold. My neck is hurting and feels tired. I am aware that I have a fairly large head but geez louise today it feels bigger and my neck is just done holding it up! My neck has grown weary in well doing. Its ok to laugh..I am! I shared my photo of my hands with my facebook group and so many of them have had to give up doing things they love because of this randomness. I am thankful that mine is not that bad.
While still in the bed I checked the weather once more although I already knew it was going to be cold from the way my body felt. Not only is it cold but the temp is dropping. I became so angry at the fact that it was cold, my body was already hurting and I had to go to work. UGHHH! I found some leggings to put on under my jeans, a longsleeve shirt to wear under my jacket that i’m wearing as a shirt under my jacket and two pairs of socks. I also found my hand and feet warmers that my mom bought me last year. Thank God I still have them. I decided to tell 4 of my co-workers that I work closely with. I feel slightly relieved that at least someone at work knows so I am not just alone. I don’t want them to change the way they view me or the way they act around me but it is nice to know they know. Currently my feet and hands are swollen, my feet are on fire, my left ankle feels as if it is breaking when I walk, my fingers and arms hurt, and the skin on my right shoulder down to my wrist is on fire. It hurts to touch my body and pain is just shooting in random spots. I have a headache and the skin on my face hurts and I am nauseous on top of all that. I am hungry and I am angry that I am having to feel like this today. I keep trying to be positive but today it is hard! I have to work all day, show my car then I have class tonight and ughhhh its just going to be a long damn day. And IT IS SOOOO COLD. Fudgecrackers! Apple jacks! Sugarplums! I want some oreos to make me feel better but I guess I will settle for the gluten free p.b/flaxseed cookies I made. FYI they aren’t good but I guess they will get the job done. UGH. Hopefully I will be able to change my mood……hopefully!