I attempted to dye my hair last night using bleach and volume 30 lightener. I wanted a honey blonde color at my ends…..Fail!!! Epic Epic Epic fail!!! My beautiful, black, thick, curly hair is about 3 different shades of blonde and almost straight on some parts. I could honestly cry….I actually did last night. After realizing how bad it was I went to Sally’s where two of the workers and I have a great rapport. They helped me find a demi color to put on top so that hopefully I can at least get one color over my entire head. Now I have to bleach my roots so that I can have the same lose curls all over (insert incredibly sad face). I see lots of deep conditioning in my future. Jesus Jesus Jesus. I will be wearing a head wrap a lot.  So I guess this weekend I will be looking for fun and ethnic patterns. Chemo didn’t make my hair come out but this bleach sure did. SMH!!! I am slightly upset with myself but then I think about the last color moment I had with a professional. I spent 8 hrs there and left with a brassy reddish color that I did not ask for! Ugh it was bad I ended up dying it myself back to a dark color and eventually had to  get my hair cut off. And she was professional and I had to pay for it!! So at least this time I did it.

SOOOO moving on.. I wore a baseball cap to Zumba to try and hide the damage. During class my legs started hurting extremely bad and my feet started to burn.  It was like I could feel my toe nails and they were going to come off my toes and then my toes out of the front of my shoe. I was able to fake it and smile through class. When i’m in those moods I try and look at their faces. I love  to see them smile or laugh at themselves and each other lol! And the faces they make at me when a song is hard or when they mess up (they think I see them but I usually don’t) so their faces say it and we make eye contact and just laugh….that is what gets me through in times like this. I made it through class and went to two stores to find beer for a beer treatment to try and bring my curls back but neither store had beer. I am not a beer drinker but I thought you could just go to a store and buy it. I guess it’s certain stores. I pulled up in my drive way finally home and I couldn’t move my legs!!! “UGHHH” I thought “I finally made it and now I can’t get out, I just want to go to bed”.  After an hour in the car I finally pep talked myself up enough to get ready for the pain and just did it. It was slow and painful but I finally got in the house and in the bed. I slept like three hours. I couldn’t roll over or move well so getting comfortable was out of the question. When I did fall asleep the burning from my legs would wake me up almost instantly. This morning I am on crutches to help ease the pain of walking. I feel like my legs are breaking when I put weight on them, my feet burn really bad, my toes hurt and my skin from my knee down is sensitive. Not to mention my back and hips hurt as well as my hands from holding the crutches….hahaha. Now imagine seeing all of that. LOL it’s ok you can laugh! I am. I am telling people I hurt my leg or telling them that i’m having leg pain and i’m trying to keep the weight off and let it heal. Which isn’t totally a lie! But yeah I have told a lot of lies today….God forgive me! I wonder if He still considers these lies lies?? hmmm….. Currently I am trying to find a professional who is actually good at doing color. My mom goes to a Caucasian lady here for her color and she does great!! But she is booked because IT’S EASTER WEEKEND!!! I can only think of one other person in my whole life who was good at doing my hair color. Luckily, I think she is back in Decatur. I text her and Lord I just pray she has an  opening.  At this point I just pray that I have not ruined my curl pattern.

I am not eating until 1pm today and my last meal was 1pm yesterday… on top of all of this I am hungry!!!! lol!! Have ya’ll ever been so hungry food you don’t even like looks good? That’s where I am today. I want everything!!!! The school actually had good lunch today but I didn’t want to buy it because we eat lunch at 10:15am….. #ridic. I will keep you guys posted on my hair!!!! Are you done getting all of your Easter gear together? What are you wearing? Daugher’s hair done? Son’s hair cut? Big plans for Easter egg hunts???


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