Oh Happy Day

Happy Sunday people!!!

I hope Sunday is going amazing!!!! Mine sure is! I have cleaned off my patio, taken a nap, went grocery shopping, about to nap and then grill! I’m excited and yes I’m napping a lot but 1- I’m tired and 2- I want my body to rest while it can!

I would first like to say that I have been feeling pretty good this week!!! I pray that this is the start of the end of this flare. My mom and my coworkers have said they see the old me! I pray I stay the old me. I am so in love with her! I’m not fond of the new me but I am amazed at her strength!! Go girl!!

While today has been very relaxing and I am starting to have more good days (Praise God) today is also the beginning of reflection and tracking. I’m not sure if I dialogued the frequency of my panic attacks but I am noticing them more often (insert sad face here). I had one Friday at work. I haven’t had one before in public. It was scary and I was embarrassed. I am not sure how impressed why it even happened. My past week has been pretty stress free. Friday was going great! Work wasn’t hard and I was actually swinging when an eerie feeling came over me, followed by a heat wave and nausea. I went inside and tried to gather my thoughts. I got sick but made it outside fast enough to not have to clean it up (lol don’t judge me mine or not it’s gross). I came back in and sat next to a friend at work. I figured if I pass out or something at least someone is here. I had a brief moment of okness (yes I know it’s not a word) so I decided I would try and make it to the car. I did. I sat down took off my shirt and full blown panic attack hit. I sat facing the passenger seat with my legs propped up. It seemed I wasn’t in control of my body. My legs moved on their own and my back kept spasming causing my arms to move. It hurt and I there was not a thing I could do but cry and try and breathe. I would tell myself okay that’s enough and just kept crying. I could see my coworkers come out and I covered my face so they couldn’t see. I was a mess! One co-worker was parked next to me and saw me. She motioned to another one and they came and sat with me until it was over. It lasted 47 minutes.

Sooo I wrote the above part before my nap. As I was going to get in bed another p.a hit ☹️ I laid on the floor. I read somewhere that grounding yourself can sometimes help. . . Not really sure. I just slid across the floor like a spasming worm 😂😂😂. I can laugh about it now. It lasted 29 min.

The worst thing about them is they are getting worse and happening more frequent. And I am exhausted afterwards. After speaking to one of my friends who is a social worker at a hospital i will now be journaling/taking data on them. I want to see what the trigger is. There has to be one but I can’t see what it is. So you will be reading more about them. If you see a pattern please feel free to let me know!

I am still nauseas but able to keep food down.

Today I am making more of an effort to watch what I eat and go back to meal prepping. It’s so much easier during the week for me to just grab something out of the fridge instead worrying about what I will eat. So this weeks meal will be: turkey burgers (no bread), twice baked cauliflower, grilled zucchini, sweet and spiced grilled sweet potatoes and jalapeño corn. I probably won’t actually eat this a lot so I will be freezing half. I am going to finish my nap that was so rudely interrupted by the p.a and then grill! Today is still a happy day!! I hope you all have an amazing week!!

Goal for the week: more exercise… walking the dog and arm workouts at least 3 days! What’s your goal?

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