Did you know that midnight only last 60 seconds and then a brand new day starts!!! I think we often think of the entire sleeping night as midnight. Nope!!!! In just 60 seconds we get so many brand new things: life, day, horizon, chance to succeed, chance to learn, chance to make a difference, to fall in love, to fall out of love, to break away from things holding you back, to forgive, to be healed, to repair relationships, to make a difference and to do something different we haven’t done yet. All of the possibilities in just a mere 60 seconds!!!
It’s 11:45pm here and I am wide awake thinking about life and relationships, what I want and what I don’t want, dating and if I’m ready, the failure of my generation to communicate effectively, my health and lifestyle changes that are a necessity from here on out. And honestly what that actually means scares the sugar plums out of me.
Will the guy that I date be able to handle this part of me? Will this part still exists ? Will it interfere with me having and raising my children? I have so many questions bout the unknown. Do I yell the guy when we meet? Do I want it until he likes me? If i wait is that being dishonest? Hmmmm….. Will I be able to do at my heart desires? Will I be able to help families all over if I need help? I see so many people in the support group whose husbands just pack up and leave or tell them to stop being lazy. I know the one God has for me will understand… surely. But at the same time YO DUDE WHERE ARE YOU????? Maybe this is part of the things I need to figure out before he comes. Orrr maybe I will be completely healed by the time he comes and I can say “yeah I use to have this horrible disease but I don’t anymore”!!! Now that is a silver lining!!
Anywho….. this weekend was pretty darn good! As you all know I am on a lot of diff medications. Well the ones that are supposed to make me sleep KERP ME UP!!! I am used to this because my body is just weird. When I have strep I have the symptoms of a stomach virus and vice versa. So after 2 days of getting 3hours or less of sleep I decided to take the medicine that said “alert do not take close to bedtime will delay sleep” and guess what????? I slept! And slept!!!! Then Friday night I slept 16hours 😂😂😂😂😂 of course I woke up a few times but I went right back to sleep. I woke up Saturday around 1ish. I felt amazing yet groggy. I redid my hair for 3 hours until my hands cramped. Then I ran errands and hung out with my mom and sister! I absolutely love having out with these two!!! Sunday I overslept so I missed church 🤦🏾♀️ Well actually I got up but my body didn’t . I took down my hair because I just wasn’t happy with it! So in the last week I have had 3 different hair styles. Sunday my dad, Mom and I went to lunch. I secretly like when it’s just them and me 😉😉don’t tell my sister. I mean that hasn’t happened in 30 years!! As you all know my dad is hilarious so it’s always going to be something he says that is off the wall! After lunch my mom and I went to Aldis (my fav place) and grocery shopping. At this point I was exhausted and my body was hurting. I came home and took a nap. Around 7 I went to Walmart and then got gas for the week. Heading to Walmart I began feeling like I couldn’t breathe so I popped a Klonopin. It worked NO PANIC ATTACK!!!!!
Of course I wasn’t sleepy but I was too tired to meal prep. I did manage to do some ground turkey with green peppers and onions. Luckily I had some twice baked cauliflower to add as a side! Done!!! I melted into my bed exhausted!!!!
Around 2 I woke up and couldn’t sleep so I researched how fibro effects different things. I think I was anxious about going to work on Monday. Why you ask? Well, I have become accustomed to working and being able to be more verbal and less physical. During the summer and at the clinic we service more children who require physical touch, high energy and lots and lots of bending and lifting. Not to mention we will have around 20 therapist in one building. Geez Louise!!! I finally dozed off around 5 and woke up @7am.
Monday.. today was my first day of summer at the clinic and my my it was busy!!!! Let’s just say I reached 8k steps before I left. One highlight of today was when a child called my hoop earrings a hula hoop😂😂😂😍😍 so adorable right??! Ok the second was the 58min nap I took at lunch!! It was life changing! It gave me energy to finish the day strong.
I made it home in enough time to feed the dog, change clothes and get ready for Zumba. Heading to class I could feel my toes and hands cramping up. Ughhh why now? Ugh!!! I made it about half of the way through class and started feeling like my chest was getting tight and the room was spinning. I took a Klonopin and made it through. The pain was pretty tough and I felt dizzy but I was able to hold it together!
Today wasn’t bad but I could get better. Tomorrow will be better!
Today was one hell of a day! I had 8k steps before 2pm!! I got to work @8:15 and chaos started @8:30 and lasted through multiple children pretty much until 5:20pm when I clocked out. I did get a 30min lunch break and you know I took my nap!!! Ahhh! Today was very physically hard on my body. Then I had zumba. One of my friends came from work and that was incredibly awesome!! My numbers have been really low in that class and I’m not sure why. So they may relieve me of it💁🏾 of course no one likes to be let go but I believe everything happens for a reason!! After class we went to the gym and got massages! So relaxing!! I was able to target my calf’s, ankles, lower back and neck area. Can you say freaking awesome!!!! My ankle feels sprang but it could be great tomorrow💁🏾
I noticed today I have a knot on the inside o my wrist. I didn’t notice it until around 1. It wasn’t there this morning. But again work was very VERY hands-on today. It doesn’t hurt unless I move my hand a lot… 😂😂 ok so I guess it hurts a little. Per the absolutely accurate google it’s a ganglion cyst. It’s dark in my room so the picture is not mine but my wrist looks just like this one but brown😂😂. If it’s not gone tomorrow I will update you guys.Although work was crazy it was kind of fun getting to hangout and be in the trenches with my coworkers. I worked with a new kid and met a family who may be joining us!!!!! This excites me because I know we can help make a difference in the kids life and their families. We take so much for granted like a peaceful trip to the grocery store. A lot of parents would rather go shopping without their children but it’s different when your child is screaming and you don’t know why and they can’t tell you and everyone is looking at you like you’re a bad aren’t. When in reality there’s really limited things you can do. THATS WHEN WE COME IN 🎼cue Superman music🎼
Eeeek!!!! Who wouldn’t be excited??! I absolutely love what I do. It’s tiring, I work long hours, I face aggression and end up bruised and scratched up BUT if I can take it for a month and give the parents a different life…. well then scratch away baby!! I’ll take it! Ok moving on.
I have to be at work at 6:30 am tomorrow so I pray I get some sleep!
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. -Psalms 30:5
Lord I thank you!! I am so grateful. I know that you are here with me even when I feel alone. I often cry out and you hear me and let me know that’s I’m ok. You are amazing God!