Today was hard. Emotionally and physically. I am very irritable and feel like I could just curse and cry at the same time. Like I want to hug people and karate chop them in the neck! 🤷🏾♀️ I am hurting and life is just irritating me! A coworker pulled me aside today and asked was I ok….. I’m no!!!! Although of course I said yes. Then ta friend said “so you’re just irritated at people living life and smiling…. arggggh 👹👹” I laughed but that was pretty accurate. I’m not sure what it is but today just isn’t the day. Then a friend and I had a miscommunication that turned south really quick. I unloaded emotionally. I kind of regret it. I meant what I said and it’s exactly how I felt but I wish I had had more tact with how I said it. … oh well! Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities and a nail appt!
Happy wonderful Saturday!!!! My friend came to visit me today. She hasn’t been here in months since I was on the shot. That explains yesterday….whew I thought I was losing it! False alarm guys! I’m just a girl!! This morning was the Walk 2 Win Lupus Awareness walk. I haven’t done a long walk since being diagnosed so I’m a bit nervous! And I’m taking Cade (my puppy). It’s his first walk! I’ll update you later! 🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦Soooo we both made it!! The walk was amazing! It was so great hearing so much first hand info about Lupus. As you know I have been diagnosed with “a trace of lupus” so I don’t really know what that means. Listening to the people today talk about their symptoms and hardships they have faced on their Lupus Journey was amazingly disheartening. Disheartening because to hear anyone going through that much pain, relationship loss, life changes and still show up is…. let’s just say I am in awe!! I said amazing because 95% of what they described I have felt it gone through too. The first lady was 26! TWENTY FREAKING SIX!!!!!! Was headed off to school when she got diagnosed. She spoke about the challenges she faced but one thing that stuck out to me was when she began to speak about her mom. Now y’all know how I feel about my Moma (if not read My Hero blog). She said the hardest part was not wanting her mom to worry. Mannnnnnnnnnnnnn she hit the nail on the head then! I hate seeing the worry in my moms face when I am ill. When I’m not in her presence I try to hide it. On the phone she can hear it on my voice. So when it’s bad I try and text but then she knows because I’m not calling. We talk like 3-5 a day…. judge me I 👏🏾do👏🏾not👏🏾care👏🏾! Lol! When I am in her presence trying to fake it she can see it in my eyes. But yet and still I try to hide it. She mentioned today that she still knows because she reads my blogs😂 fail fail fail! I guess this is just a game we will keep playing. Also because of that and she has plans this weekend with her friends I will not post this until Monday! The walk was shortened because we were trying to beat the storms. All I can say is 🙌🏾🙌🏾Look at God!!! My great friend Leigh (my right hand lady) and my family were there supporting me! Below is my mom, dad, nephew & Cade (my dog) and First Lady of my church.😂 Ooooh one of the major important amazing things that happened today was I got to see my old friend from undergrad Big Fred!!! Talking about excited!!! He, his wife and adorable son was there supporting the person who sponsored the walk. Oh! My! Gosh!! Guys this was like my first friend at UNA! He took me under his wing and made sure I was ok! Talking about love and respect!! This guy is a true friend! We’ve been around each Thera families and slowly became family. He is an absolutely amazing person with a heart of gold! When I saw him my heart almost exploded with joy!! Then added to it I got to see extensions of his love and life: his wife and son! They are also amazing. I’m happy just writing about it!
After the walk I was pretty exhausted but my pain level was around a 4. Not too shabby but I figured I should rest just let my body heal. I spent most of the rest of the day napping. It was glorious!! And my dog has learned to nap with me! being a puppy is hard work! Yes that is an Aladdin blanket with Princess Jasmine on it! I’m pretty sure it was my sisters but hey….. we’re grown now so I’ll just take it as a donation! We slept for hours. Got up ran an errand then went back to sleep. Got up did my hair then went back to sleep. Ohhhh how amazing!
I made it to church this morning. I was an hour late but I made it! And it wasn’t so cold in there so I could stay! It felt so good to be around my church family. It’s like being at home. I love it!
After church I took a brief nap then picked up my sister and my dogphew (dog nephew) who is my dogs cousin/brother 😂😂 #JerrySpringer
Anyway we then headed to my great uncles birthday cookout! It’s my dads side of the family so it’s sooooooo huge! There are legit tons of us. And I absolutely love when we are all together. There’s so many conversations and personality’s and love! Ahhhh😍. It’s great! Pictured below are: the remaining brothers and sisters (my great aunts and uncles), 1/4 of the McAfee men, some of the McAfee women, the next generation McAfee boys and then non-other than my perfect little sissy and myself. Ahh I love that girl! If you can’t tell I love my family!!!!!!!!
Can you guess what we did after that?????
If you said took a nap then you are the winner!!!! Imagine confetti, balloons and cheering! Lol
At this time my body was tired and I could feel it needing rest but I was already laying down. I was wrong it wasn’t the need for rest I was feeling it was a panic attack🤦🏾♀️ this one didn’t last long and wasn’t that bad. I was holding Cade (my puppy) when it started. He jumped down and looked at me like “what in the world” he licked my tears, got down ran in circles for a while, rain in circles around the couch where I was then sat in-front of me until it was over. Then we went to sleep. Oh and my mommy I back!!!! She had a blast with her friends!!!
I am so friggin tired! But there’s so much to i today! I’m making a honey bun cake and homemade ice cream. Now here’s the tricky part…. ready? My hands are already aching. Half of our plans got cancelled so I don’t have to make the ice cream. I am going to make the cake so I can have some and start back eating healthy! After running errands and moving tables with my mom and grandma I came him to rest! All of the sudden Cade isn’t feeling resting soooo in the crate he goes! I have no time for tom-foolerish as my nephew says. I slept for a few hours then went to my moms. It was relaxing. My parents house is sooo calm. Like they have life together…. 🤷🏾♀️one day! We ate, I baked and did laundry because my washer is still down. We started packing up and my body began to fall apart slowly. First my feet. Then my calfs. Then my left leg. Followed by my hands and back. Ugh 🤦🏾♀️ but the show must go on. I needed to visit my dads family then see a dear friend whose daughter had a miscarriage today. As we were preparing to leave headed to my families house I just couldn’t do it. So we didn’t. I took my nephew to my friends house/her son is my nephews friend and visited them for a while. I made it home and picked out my clothes for the week. I have to be at work many mornings @7am!!!! Which means I need to be up by 5 and on the road by 6:15! Ugh🤦🏾♀️ so my meds have been taken and hopefully sleep is near.
Pain level is a 9. Right hand numb, right ankle throbbing, skin on legs and face is sensitive to touch and my feet burn on the bottom. I over did it this weekend but….. hey I survived!! It’s a short week so hopefully it won’t be that bad!
*Im sure there are typos because it’s late and I’m tired. I would proof read it but…… not tonight. If you see an error let me know! #ItTakesAVillage