Today’s Not Monday?

Me: ok guys we made it though monday!

Coworkers: 😂😂 it’s Tuesday!!!

Me: what????? Nooooo!!!

Another co-worker: this has been the longest week ever 🤣🤣🤣

Ok if today isn’t Monday whhhhhhhyyyy the freak has it been manic??? Today was straight chaos! Like at every turn chaos!!!!! It was really unbelievably chaotic. I actually think chaos is an understatement but I can’t think of another word to describe it. In the midst of the chaos I begin having that hot feeling I have right before a panic attack. I took a min on lunch and put a cool cloth on my chest and neck and took my Klonopin. I was able to keep it away today! As soon as it was time to clock out I ran to my car! Well not ran but walked as fast as I could. I am exhausted!!! My entire body is hurting and numb in some places. I find this weird because I haven’t taken my tramadol since earlier! I have to be at work @7 which means I have to be up by 5 and on the road @6. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ This schedule doesn’t go with my medicine/body schedule. I woke up late this morning!! Luckily I ironed and meal prepped already for the week. I am tired!!! I made a brief stop at a local store to get dog food! I would hate to be a bad puppy mommy. While walking around in the store I begin feeling very dizzy and hot. I was just thinking “Get done and get to the car” I made it. I then received a call saying I will be one of the cancer survivor honorees at an event this year. How exciting!!!!!! I hope the person that called didn’t think I was rude because my breathing was labored. I was out of breath and my feet and legs were screaming! On top of this I feel a migraine coming on…. like geez man can I get a break!! But then I think…. it could be worse and Lord I repent for not acknowledging the wonderful mighty things you’ve done.

There is a family of a sweet young girl I used to coach who is in need of a miracle! Her brother was hit by a car and has suffered major injuries. While we should not compare…. I am human and how dare I complain when this young man is fighting every moment for his life. There are actually 2 young men fighting. The families Mom seems to be upbeat and is staying positive and holding strong to God! It makes you think of how amazing He is and how we should praise Him through whatever we are going through!

There is another family that is also in need of a miracle from God. A friend of mine’s daughter recently had a miscarriage. She is in her early twenties. I’ve been there where you mentally begin to prepare for being a mom, your body starts changing, you make the necessary changes to have a good pregnancy and then in one moment all of that is taken from you! All of everything you imagined. At that very moment you think it might take your very existence to undo all of the dreams. No one to blame even though you blame yourself because surely you could have done something to save your child. It’s got to be someone’s fault!! Why God? Why give this blessing then take it away? Now I’m not saying this is her feeling like this. What I am saying is this is what I felt. In my case it was my body but In her case it was an accident that she could not have prevented. No way. No how! And Lord I pray she sees that. It took me a while to heal mentally. She was far enough along to hold the babies and take sweet sweet pictures of them that she can keep forever. She actually had to deliver them. My heart breaks for this child and I ask why??? Then again I am reminded He is the almighty. Yep I’m not suppose to question God…. but sometimes lie really God why? Why did this or that have to happen? Why do I have to be sick again? If it’s for a testimony can I not just use what i steady went through? I talk to God like He is a friend and we are just hanging out. Now we/I may not ever understand why He does what He does buttttt it ALWAYS works out in our favor!! Still not sure why have fibro but I know He has a plan! With these 2 young people fighting for and mourning life how dare I be anything but grateful!!!

One thing I thought about today was maintaining my peace. My body reacts crazy to stress. It could actually kill me!! I am making a conscience effort to see what stresses me out. What changes my mood. What makes me feel happy, sad, annoyed, angry and etc. I’m trying to listen a lot more to my body. When it says stop I’m trying to stop. Now I know you’re thinking “she’s lying look at her Memorial Day post” welllllll for your info I’m just starting this! Hearing the info on Saturday at the Lupus Walk then feeling this way today…. I have to start listening to my body.

Today is Tuesday and my dad cooked fish. I am so mentally exhausted and physically exhausted and pained that I am not going 😢 YALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT TUESDAY FISH DAY!!!! It’s 7:28 and I’m laying down with a headache, on the verge of a migraine and my body feels off BUT…… I can hear my Aunt Crystal singing the old gospel song called I Wont Complain.

Here is the Angie Stone version of this song: https://youtu.be/by5emPuf-Ek

I’ll end this by just saying Thank You Lord! I won’t complain. How was your Tuesday???

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