No K.O

A full knockout is considered any legal strike or combination thereof that renders an opponent unable to continue fighting.

Today has been rough! But as always God gave m a song to hold on to. Today’s song was I Still Have Joy. My Aunt Gret would tear this song straight up! Around 2 am I could hear her singing “I still have joy”. Now for me this is a double message!!! I’m tearing up thinking about it. She passed a few years ago with health related conditions. For this song and that part to come to me just brought me ease and happiness! She still has joy! After all she went through! This is around the time of year she passed so this is sooo comforting. And through the tears and heartache of missing her I know that she still has joy!!

The second part is the song says “sickness can’t take my joy” another part says “through the storm and the rain, through heartaches and pain. Thank God I still have joy” …..Y’all it’s raining today!!!! Ahhhhhh that is me screaming glory!!!! I love when He lets me know specifically he is here with me. Shana DC. Me! I am in pain and work was hard and my body was pushed to the limit. So much til I had to leave early. On the way home I became so weak I could barely move my leg from the gas to the brake. I made it close to the bridge and fear set in. Not the small fear. Not the “man I hope I make it” but the big fear! The “I may run off the bridge and into the water” fear! I pulled over at the transportation place before crossing the bridge and text my mom. I took a nap that seemed like forever. It was actually about 10 minutes. After that I crossed that bridge and made it home! Not a bump in the road!!! I know some people will say it’s not that big of a deal but…… it is! I made it home and my back across my shoulders was tight, my lower back had cramps that shot up through the middle at random, my right leg ached from the bone from the knee down and my right calf felt like a Charlie horse but it was regular, my left heel radiated pain up. My fingers hurt and my skin is sensitive. Wind hurts, my clothes hurt /@; to be touched hurts. Ohhhhh my skin lol! I didn’t realize how much I am touched in a day at work! Geez!!!! But how do you not hug s child who ask for one? How do you not pick one up and cradle them when they need it or spin them around when they’re giggling because they’re making improvements? I can’t!! I love on my kids!! And most of my coworkers are touchy feely. Lol we cry, scream, get irritated and hug each other. You make so many friends when you are in the trenches. I put on my “face the world face” everyday regardless of what it’s hiding and I’m sure everyone else does too. And for those moments when we are with these kids trying to change lives we take off the us side and put on super hero capes. But every now and then we break and the mask come off. What I do is so fulfilling yet so draining both mentally and physically. But I love what I do. I love the impact I make. This is what I want to do for my life. I just need my body to cooperate!!!!

Not sure how I got on a work tangent but….moving on. It’s 2:55am and I think I can chop this day up as not the best. The devil heard the song God gave me this morning and tried to see how many times he could knock me down. Psssh he just doesn’t know! He may knock me down BUT I will get back up!it will never me a knockout (K.O) because as long as God reigns I will fight!! (Insert pep talk here lol) After all I’ve been through. I still have joy! I Still Have Joy song I bet she is in heaven tearing this song up right now! I bet God is saying “sang Gret” and my granddaddy is saying “aight now” lol. I miss you so much but I’m glad I can still hear you! Thanks Aunt Gret for encouraging me today I needed it!


2 thoughts on “No K.O

  1. Loletheia Marks says:

    Yes…after all after everything I’ve seen…thank God I still have joooooooyyy!!! It’s something about when you can smile thru the pain and the heartache!!


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