There’s Hope

It doesn’t cost a thing to smile and you don’t have to pay to laugh. Er better thank God for that. -India Arie

Hello F4 Tribe!!!!

Soooo much has happened since I last blogged. I I’ll try to catch you up

Body:

So my body has held up well. There has been 2 panic attacks, 2 shut downs and only a few not so awesome/unmanageable days, that I managed of course lol.

Symptoms:

blurred to loss of vision, nausea/vomiting and constant leg and feet pain. Fatigue body and lungs😂! Y’all sometimes walking has me so exhausted and breathing heavy I have to take a break😂😂. The knot on my wrist is back and bigger. It makes my right hand a little “flappy”.

On the bad days I push through. On the awful days I lay down. On the good days I rejoice!

Meds:

Still off of all prescribed meds. Pain is an weekday occurrence and sometimes gets pretty awful. I’m not taking anything heavier than naproxen 500 and ibuprofen 800. I usually take about 1,800 mg day. I’m sure this is too much but🤷🏾‍♀️ right now it’s what I have. I researched and I can take up to 3200mg daily,

Realizations:

1-Lots of stress was coming from my job and my ex and internally not dealing with my emotions.

2- There were devils sent to destroy me and they weren’t red and slimy

3- I need God more than ever!! My relationship with God was pulling me closer.

4- Some people come into your life for only a season and after that season they need to exit. Not necessarily because of a disagreement but because their season is over.

5- I am enough just the way I am. I will continue working to be the woman I am supposed to be. Until then I’m removing all excess from my life!!

Events:

1- Birthday (33) Great day

2- family trip- interesting but amazing!!! White water rafting

3- stopped going to the office so much. Anxiety decreased drastically!

4- person who I had a friendship with in the past got engaged and mentioned nothing to me. He is mentioned in a previous post. Found out on IG along with thousands of others. His response was no time….. yes I read it on IG🤷🏾‍♀️ Its crazy how a person can cause the same emotion twice without even being aware. I’m elated that he has found happiness. I also see I need to change the value of our friendship. I clearly think more of him than he does of me.

5- blocked several people from my social media accounts and from my life!!! Not everyone deserves access.

6- 4th Cancerversary!!!! The tea is this weekend!! So excited!

7- actually had a conversation with my ex. Shared how I felt. We don’t see eye to eye but maybe he won’t do the same to the next girl.

8- started working on my mental state!!

9- Cade got sick. He has hookworms 😕😢. He was taken to the vet and is feeling better. He ate up a couch cushion last night! 1

10- I went to saved in the City for the first time! Such an amazing life changing event! 11- finished my class and registered for my next!!

12- started preparing for my business!!

13- went to my friends gender reveal

14- had an amazing “Teal Tea” to celebrate my 4th year being cancer free!!!! It was soooo amazing to be surrounded by so many friends and family!!! To hear some of the things they think of m really touched my heart. My sister even said something…. twice!!!!! She never talks in public! My besties and goddaughters were there! Y’all my mom worked sooo hard to help me do this event!!! I am so beyond thankful for my superwoman!!!! I was up from 4am until 12am and moving around! My body is exhausted!! But I am now done and ready for the holiday! I am resting all day long.

Goals:

1- spend more time with me! Loving on me and getting to know me. Take my self out at least 1 time a week. Learn to enjoy me. Learn to be ok in this single time of my life.

2- spend more time with God. Strengthen my prayer life. I want to be on fire for God.

3- let go of people in my life who have at any point, that I wasn’t enough. Or have proven that they aren’t a friend to me. I have a tendency to hold on to people. Even people who have intentionally harmed me! I find a way to forgive them and when doing that I allow them to stay in my life. But I never forget that feeling they caused me. So now I pray that as I begin to break away from these bonds that God sustains me in their absence.

4- work on being a good steward of my time, finances and mental space.

5- learn to say no!

Songs: This is my favorite part

Waymaker

Won’t He Do It (Remix)

Lord You Are Good

War

I Got That (Hip Hop)

Bible Verses:

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭12:25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord your God.”

Numbers‬ ‭15:41‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I will/He will be with you. Never leave or forsake you!

Joshua 1:5, Deuteronomy 31:6 &31:8

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

It’s 3:35am. My body is tired. The pain is real but I know it’s because I haven’t been able to rest in 2 weeks. I have so many bruises and sore spots on my legs. My teeth feel like they may come out and my face may cave in!!! Lol but It was worth it!!!

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6 thoughts on “There’s Hope

  1. robinclay27 says:

    This is as awesome as you are and the God that we serve. Keep moving. Keep pressing. He’s got you. I know this to be true for myself; it’s not a myth or old wive’s tale that I heard. Even at my age, I’m learning the same lessons that you are. We are wonderfully and fearfully made. One day, some single, complete, and whole man of God will discover God’s treasure in us and the rest will be Holy history. In the meanwhile, we will continue to be our fabulous, single, complete, and whole saved and sanctified selves. I love you big. I’m proud of you. Continue to teach and lead by example. Great shall be your reward. I can’t wait to celebrate your next big thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Laura says:

    Good morning sweet girl! I’m new to following you, but you sound like a very sweet girl, who like the rest of us, are still learning how to navigate the journey of life. Even at 53, I still am! To me, having these epiphanies, are the best part of life. It’s like God is guiding us where we need to go, not only to help us, but for us to be able to help others. Rest and recharge sweet girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loletheia Marks says:

    No greater feeling than knowing through it all God is still there. Many people and things come and go but one that we can count on is him. Glad to be able to share this special moment with you and glad to be apart of your life! Looking forward to all God has in store for you. Love to to pieces😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

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