So…..

Hey guys!!! Last Tuesday I began writing a post to talk about how well I have been feeling lately! The good things that are happening. How my friends and family are doing. I just wanted to share something positive with you guys because I feel like I’m always complaining and that doesn’t describe me adequately. If you know me you know I try and not complain.

However, Wednesday hit and fibro came back with a vengeance. I’m talking mental, emotional and physical! Like a tornado of crap hit all at once. Needless to say I am going to postpone posting that blog because I want to feel the joy I felt writing it when I post it.

Sooooooo……. since Wednesday I have probably gotten 10 hours of sleep. Yeah it sucks!!!! I feel the cycle starting and the enemy attacking. I said earlier ” I can be strong but it’s like he’s always attacking. Waiting on an opening. He’s gnawing at the bone waiting for it to break off” but as the Bible says the devil roams the earth seeking whom he may devour. BUT I serve a God who also never sleeps or stops working!!!!! Where I am weak He is strong. And this week if it was based on my own accord then I know the devil would have won BUT OHHHHHH to be kept by God!!!

———insert praise break———-

So fast forward to yesterday. My legs have been aching at the bone and my neck has been feeling tired like I just can’t hold it up. Of course I do!! My lower back aches and the inside of my hip bone burns and the bursitis is back. I’ve never felt this before. Oh and my teeth/gum pain is back.

I make it through the breast cancer walk, visit my friend in the hospital and head to bed lol. I slept about an hour then it was time for church this morning.

I woke up feeling like “why should I go” “I’m in so much pain” “No one will even notice” “I’m too tired” “I just want to quit”. Now if the first few thoughts weren’t enough to make you see that the devil was attacking my mind then look at the last one!!!!! Seriously!??? Just that fast I thought about “not being here”. I knew then I was going to church!!! What’s the reasoning? Why waste time going to church when you can have church at home? Well because sometimes the battle is too big and you need to support of your army! Think about it….even the greatest soldier goes to war with his batoon! I know what some of you may be thinking “you said God was all you need”. Well you’re right! I did!!! And He thought enough of me to give me a family who Knows Him, believes in and seeks after Him!!! Church, the right church, is a place where the broken can go and be made whole. The right church doesn’t judge you but they accept you, love and encourage you right where you are!!!! I love my church!!!!

I digress. So I get there and the worship service was for me!!!!! I had to hang my head an ugly cry! Listen to the songs:

I believe by James Fortune and FYA

https://youtu.be/HEBpyfSaDDw

I believe the storm will soon be over.

I believe the rain will go away

I believe it’s already done

See yourself out of the storm. The clouds will move. It’s time to smile again!

this blessing is pre-approved!

I believe that my God is a healer and I believe that I will survive!

I believe that God is able.

It’s already done!

I believe God’s going to do it.

He’s going to do it for you!

It’s Done by Anita Wilson

https://youtu.be/ezkMOvg-3t0

It’s done.

What I shall be I already am.

My eyes may not see it. By faith I believe it.

God is working it out on my behalf.

It’s already done.

Talking about crying!!!! I was CRYYYYY-ing!

Now I’m sitting in church with my hip burning from the outside in. Causing my body to shake and my teeth are aching. Seriously 🤷🏾‍♀️ So I tuned in harder. If the devil is trying this hard then there must be something I need to hear!

Then I went for prayer at alter call. How did my Pastors wife know what was happening??? I didn’t tell her. Anyway she prayed them my pastor prayed! He has the gift of healing.

Talking about being rejuvenated!!

Now yes I am still in severe pain. Yes I am uncomfortable but still smiling. I KNOW I WILL make it!!!!

I am ready to fight this week. Yeah it’s a war BUT I’m showing up and I’m ready to fight!!!

Now here is what I haven’t been doing that I usually do:

1. Didn’t pay my tithe (for those of you who know how important this is I could truly stop there). Paid it today!!!

2. Haven’t spent time with my boo (God) so I don’t feel as close to Him as I have been. Funny how that works.

3. I’ve eaten horribly and my water intake is still drastically lacking

4. No sleep #TeamNoSleep (people post that like it’s cool. I don’t want to be that cool) #TeamImSleepy

Hopefully I sleep tonight!

5. Lack of me time

I will make an effort to change these things this week!

Things to pray for this week:

1. My healing: mentally, physically, financially and emotionally

2. My bible study friends lung collapsed and she’s in the hospital

3. My cousins mom who is starting dialysis soon

4. My mom as she prepares to head out of town

5. My dads health. He never speaks about it but I know he has joint issues as well

6. My friend who has inflamed intestines

7. My friends mom who is awaiting her results to see if she has cancer. And my friend who is her support system while he is dealing with life’s ups and downs

8. My sister

9. My friend who has been dealing with a migraine for a week now

10. All of those who suffer from chronic illnesses and their support system

I pray for each of you reading this post. That God will bind up any affliction that you may be faced with. That He heals you and gives you peace. That He provides clarity on things you can’t see clearly and that you feel His presence with you as you face this week. I pray you know you are not alone in whatever you have going on. I pray He gives you strength to continue to endure until He delivers you!! Trouble does not last always. Joy comes on the mourning! Cry!!! Cry hard!!! Joy is coming!!! Lord we trust you! We worship and adore you. We know that you are Lord and we call you that! You are mighty and sooo good to us. We thank you for making away when we can’t see one. Lord I ask you to continue to guide us as hold our hands as we each travel on our journey this week. Thank you for what you’ve done and what you’re going to do. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!!!

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