Today 2/10 makes 2 years since the initial pain. 2 years, 730 days of uncertain and unwarranted pain.
I remember talking to my nephew while standing in the self-checkout line at Walmart when my calf muscles started burning. I thought I needed new shoes. I remember taking my shoes off to try and ease the pain. It didn’t work. By the time we reached our destination the majority of my body had locked up leaving me unable to move. I remember being terrified because this was a pain I had never felt before.
Fast forward 730 days and I’m in bed with tears in my eyes from more pain I’ve not felt before. I’ve been up since 3am. I initially thought it was a crick in my neck from sleeping wrong. The right side of my neck/shoulder has been tight for a few days. At 2 am I felt myself trying to stretch between my shoulder blades and readjust. At 3am I woke up screaming from a pulling burning pain that felt like it was gripping my flesh and nerves and pulling them away from my bones. The pain is sitting in the middle of my shoulders and radiating up my neck to the back of my head. There’s so much pressure I can barely see. It’s also across both shoulders.
I am also nursing an injured knee. So my right knee hurts and my left leg and Achilles stays tight. Not to mention my rib cage, lower back and hips 🤷🏾♀️😂. I was using crutches but that made my underarms hurt and nope!!! I need something to feel ok lol. My walk is ugly and slow BUT I’m walking.
I cut Pandora on to help me get moving. I needed some praise music. I needed to be in His presence. I could feel the enemy starting to remind me of failures and negative thoughts “it’s been 2 years. He hasn’t healed you. You’re going to be in pain forever”. I quickly cut the music up. Y’all the playlist for the first few songs was:
- This is a move https://youtu.be/8I7nJSKCgo0
- Blessed https://youtu.be/5TSEW94w9kY
As I was crossing the bridge I could hear “just drive on off. It’s gotta be better than feeling like this”. I started screaming His name! I needed Him. “Keep me God” “Keep my mind, heal my body, Come see about me God”. I screamed all the way to the gas station. Then on the radio I heard:
- He’ll Take the Pain Away https://youtu.be/Ud5X7NzwV_c
- Blurred/ no vision
- Pain in fingers, hands, toes, feet
- Burning pain under feet
- Burning skin
- Locked jaw
- Easily exhausted
- Heavy random sweat
- Skin changes
- Broken and weakened fingernails
- Fatigued muscles
- Achy cold bones
- Back pain
- Facial pain
- Weight gain
- Foggy brain
- All day stiffness
- Bursitis In hips and butt
- Nerve damage
- Gabapentin: didn’t work
- Lyrica: didn’t work
- Tramadol: doesn’t work
- Cymbalta: didn’t work
- Tumeric: doesn’t work
- Celebrex: works but didn’t like side effects
- Omega Red 4- in- 1: maybe
- Vitamin D: undecided
- Magnesium: undecided
I’m sure there are more but I can’t remember.
“Despite calamity He still has a plan for me and it’s working for my good”