This is exactly how I feel right now. I have been in a flare for 22 days. I. am. tired. I am pushing through and I honestly feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown. I cant breathe. Well I can but its hard. Anxiety is trying to come back but i’m honestly to tired to have an attack. LOL
Let me regress…..
Hey guys!!!! How rude of me to not greet you all. Especially after such a long time away. This post will not be long because I am exhausted (in case you didn’t catch that earlier).
I have started so many post and deleted them or not felt like completing them. I even started recording some so you could see me in real life……. and then I did not post those. Sorry 🤦🏾♀️
How I have been feeling:
I’ve actually been really good. Life is great. My friends and family are great. My relationship is great and so has my health been.
Starting June 30th while in church my body begin to flare up. Crazy part was it was while the preacher was preaching. I had a vision of me being in pain. Now I assumed it was the devil playing with me and attempting to distract me from the word of God. He is so sneaky. So I rebuked him and kept listening. By the end of service I could barely walk. I made it to my car and went home. Almost every day since I have been in a flare. I have had a few good days in between and let me say they were amazing!!!! A family member referenced those days being almost manic. They are right. I have so much energy and get so much done and then I crash. It is really crazy.
- inadequate coping skills
- constant blurred vision
- extreme exhaustion
- pain and weakness in legs
- pain in lower back
- numbness in hands
- inability to concentrate
Overall these are not too bad. I’ve dealt with worse. I have to remind myself of this FACT!! I’ve dealt with and made it through worse!!
I am still in school and am working on an assignment that has me completely stressed out!! It is due soon so hopefully that will give me mental relief. I am working three jobs and am trying to get my business off of the ground. I am nervously excited. I know it will work out. All of this will work in my favor! I celebrated my 34th Birthday on 7/14/19 and it was a good day! I have an event Sunday to collect school supplies for those in need in my area. I currently have 7 families that have reached out to me or that I was told about. I pray we collect enough on Sunday to meet all of their needs. I am so excited to be back working in my community!!! I kind of feel like “hahaha take that stupid Fibro”.
Life is good. I am good. Fibro is not BUT I have not allowed it to define me thus far and I WILL NOT start now.
Ok that is all for now. Thank you guys for going on this journey with me and encouraging me!!! It means way more than I could ever say.
Peace, Love, and Joint cream