Uhhh What? NO Thanks!!

Hey all my F4 Tribe!! F4 tribe… I kind of like that (Fit For Fighting Fibro Tribe)

Sooo I wanted to update you guys on what’s going on.

First, I am feeling sooo much better pain wise. Thank you all for praying for me!! Today has been a fairly good day!! I am still having some issues with my fingers and hands so this will be a “to the point blog”.

Today I went the see my rheumatologist/pain doctor for my check-up. It was an ok visit๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. We have taken me off of quite a few meds! So you know I am thrilled!!!! He is trying out a new sleep med because I am not sleeping and he feels the other one is what is making me have those dizzy/fall out moments. So now to the unfunny fun part….. cue eventful scary music… dun dun duuuuunnnnn!!!

I got injections today! 8 of them! EIGHT FREAKING SHOTS! Y’all it was awful!!! Ny doctor gave me the choice of getting them in my knees or my back and butt. Of course I chose the latter because that’s where my pain has been lately. He gave me the facts of being pain free by the weekend and lasting up to 2 months! UHHH WHAT?!? Pain free for two whole months? Yeahhh buddy sign me up! Now what I didn’t know is how painful they would be. Like I thought I have bursitis on 2 bones under my butt ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. So I got shots in BOTH areas. Yes that’s through the skin on my cheek to my bone… TWICE! These will start to work in 3 days! Pain free by the weekend! That is what I kept saying to get through the shots.

Next problem area! This one hasn’t changed since last time. That’s the pulled muscles/tendons in my lower back. Ok so he finished the two awful shots IN MY ASS (sorry Moma) then says ok turn over on your stomach. Me: umm what? Why? It’s not over? No thanks?” Yes I acted up a tad. Long story short, I got 6 more shots in my lower back. I ripped a hole in the paper they line the beds with by squeezing it so tight. Sooo not ok! I didn’t scream out though like I did with the first two but I did think “why is he still going”. It was awful!!! I cried when I got to to the car lol. So after being given the shots the back of my head started hurting and I became a little too “relaxed” but in a bad way. So I asked him was that normal? He said people feel that way during 2 situations: 1- when scared and 2- when in extreme pain. Well ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ 2/2! I was scared and it was painful!!

Ok!!! I am home in bed while listening to my professor talk. I may be sleepy but I will be educated ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. My body and mind are both tired! So I am going to try and sleep.

GN my F4Tribe

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Prayer Warriors…. Mount Up

Hmmm… can you mix Dr.Dre and God๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Good morning warriors I am in need of a prayer. First let me say I am feeling so much better!! I woke up this morning and I was NOT dizzy! Praise God๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

I am asking prayer for my hands and arms. My fingers are locking up. I am typing this with my pinky ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. The fingers that are working are painful and then some of them are not working at all. I need my hands to work!!! I have a lot of typing to do today!

Thank youall in advance

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Trying Out Something New

Today has been an interesting day. I got up and went to church! It was Women’s Day and the theme was “Shades of Purple”. Purple is the color of royalty!! Don’t I just look royal on my new dress from Bella Grace Boutique with my lovely friend Lydia!!! I ordered the dress last Sunday and picked it up Friday! Talking about easy shopping!!!After Church I rested. I only got about an hour of sleep last night so my body was in need. I got up and cleaned up. My friend was supposed to come over. My old guy friend. We are working on our friendship because romance aside I miss my friend. He has a beautiful soul and our convos are good for the mind. We are ok until he says something or does something I don’t like and I want to karate chop him in the teeth๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚! But hey we are working on that and my hip won’t allow me to kick that high so his smile is safe for now๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ

While cleaning up I noticed I was getting very hot! Sweat started dripping off my head. I wasn’t really doing a lot but I’m learning to listen to my body. I cut on the fan, turned the AC up and sat down. It didn’t help!! Then all of a sudden I couldn’t feel my legs, my arms were going numb and so was my face. I called my parents to let them know and to let them know I’m ok! I text my friend and canceled plans. Then got a text from him cancelling too so that was good. I didn’t know at that point it would b hours before my leg function would return. Below is a video of me sliding my way to the bathroom.

I made it!! So my mom came over and got me food and gas for the week!! Thank God for my parents!!! I am so incredibly blessed!

Good morning. It’s 6 am and I feel awful! I just found out I’m off today so back to bed I go. I am still on the couch for ease of any assistance I may need.

Ok it’s 2:45pm and I am trying to get moving. My leg movement is better but very painful!! However, I have class tonight so I need to try and move around to see if I can do it or if I need to cancel. You guys know how I feel about canceling it!! Today’s motto is “one step at a time”!

It is 5:30. I stayed gone too long to rest before class so I am on a prayer and a spark! I love Spark. I feel like it gives me super powers. My legs are …attached lol! The pain reminds me of the blessing that I CAN feel them. #SilverLinings I need to see my class faces! They help me more than they will ever know. We lean on each other!

I am in the bed!! My body is tired but thankfully it’s better than it was ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ One of the ongoing issues as of lately is the tendinitis on my lower back and the bursitis on my tail bone and hips. They make sitting or laying hard! I drank a rehydrate by Advocare. These are the same people that make the Spark that I mentioned before class. Rehydrate is so gross! It may be me though. I think all things with electrolytes in it are gross and salty. This is no diff but I chugged it. I’m praying that if I rest and replenish my body I will be ok tomorrow for work and another class…. or walking ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. Those little big things!!

I am also working on creating a routine for my mornings and nights. I want to stop checking my social media first and last! It’s taking up too much mental space!! The goal is to start and end everyday in peace!! For me this includes: praying my prayer list, checking my planner, texting someone and letting them know I appreciate them, declaring over my life, read a scripture and stretching. And I get to write with my pen RBT was gifted to me by on of my amazing, hard working, God fearing and prayer saying Zumba friends!This pen reminds me of the battle of cancer I already fought and won! But it also reminds me of the strength I have inside of me to fight this current battle. I can do this!!!! Tomorrow is Terrific Tuesday! I am expecting something amazing to happen! It can be in my life or in someone who is connected to my life! I get excited when God does whatever for whoever! Anyway …..I’ll let you guys know what it is when it happens! Good night!

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Itโ€™s Morning

Hey guys!!! I wanted to update you all and share something with you.

First, thank you for your prayers!!! I am so beyond grateful….. I seriously can’t express it! You all gave me strength when I needed it the most! I am feeling much better than the other day! My head is bruised but attached lol! And NO headache!!

The last few days have been trying to say the least BUT God!! It’s a scary heart-wrenching feeling to see the look in your parents face when they see you aren’t ok and it’s even worse when you can’t fake it! You guys know how I am by now. I fake it until I just can’t. The last few days have been those “can’t fake it” days. Somehow, I managed to still work, baby sit and teach my fitness classes. Oh and I cut my hair off yesterday….gone!!! In less that 15 min I went from a head full to this I love it!!!!

I can definitely tell that this illness or meds have changed my hair texture. It’s crazy because chemo didn’t ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. But I am what I am. I’m learning to live with it and to grow with this illness. It is a part of me BUT by no means does it define me!!

It’s currently 11:20pm and I have been in bed since I got home around 6. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I’m so tired! I wish Cade (my puppy) could since when I am tired. He is clearly NOT!!! He’s playing with his ball that has a bell in it like it’s 11am! He’s woken me up like 3 times but I guess that’s a good thing because I am up for God and my friends to reach me!! God has already given me a song! I pray that it’s just a reminder and not a cling to song! He’s Able by Dietrich Haddon. The part He gave me says:

“God is able to do just what He said He will do. He’s going to fulfill every promise to you”

As I’m writing this another part came to me

“don’t give up on God because He won’t give up on you”

I’ve been praying that God will restore my body back to its original state of how He created it to be. So the song is so fitting at this time in my life. He will fulfill His promise of healing and restoration. I will not lack or be missing anything and as a matter of fact I will be better than I was before. He is able to do exactly what He said He Will do and I believe that!! It’s hard but I absolutely can’t give up now!

I was looking down my time line on Facebook and I see how many people who are in need of healing or some type of relief! And I see and feel God everyday making something out of nothing! EVVVERY-DAY for me and I know that a healing is coming for me and for them!!! I am in awe of the God I serve. What a mighty mighty God! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ Yes it gets hard sometimes and I’m not saying everyday is easy to find the good BUT if you look hard enough for anything you will find it! Example: me feet hurt right now! They feel like the skin on the bottom is blistered and my left leg bone aches deep inside. BUT you know what? I have 2 feet attached to my body! I have feeling in my feet. I can move them any direction I choose. I have legs still attached to my body! I have full function of those too. My brain can actively send a signal and tell my leg to wiggle. As I lay here in my bed, in my house, with my bills paid, tired from my job!!! There are so many blessings in the few sentences I just wrote! Lord I thank you!

I pray that you guys are healthy and strong both mentally and physically! That any wealth (not always monetary), goodness and favor that comes my way will also come to you because you have connected yourself to me. I pray God finds favor on you and those you come in contact with! That every battle you face will be minimized and every praise you utter will be magnified!!

Before I log off there is a song that says “joy comes in the morning. Morning doesn’t necessarily mean in the a.m. Morning is when you’ve been sleeping and you wake up. It’s time for some morning for all of us!! Wake-up….it’s morning!!!

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Just A Post… No Title

This morning I woke up with the song “Already Getting Better” by William Murphy. I’m sure it’s already better on some level but I don’t feel that yet! Lord help me feel that…

Today I am irritated! My face is irritated. My fingers are irritated. My hair is irritated and my skin all over is irritated. I have been putting Vaseline… yep! Straight up Vaseline on my face and it had been soothing it but today!!!!!! Today my skin just started itching and becoming inflamed and is peeling and falling off! My back aches and my feet ache…. like dude I’m just irritated! Lol! Do you guys ever have moments where your just not a pleasant person and YOU KNOW IT! My hair and my skin is legit making my skin crawl ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Waitโ˜๐Ÿพ you know what I mean? Not to mention I had a friend tell me “they miss the loving me”…. well I miss that me too! My hair is shedding and in my Snap yo finga and roll ya neck voice “ya girl just ain’t happy right now! I feel like I am not in control of my life. Like nothing. I control nothing!

Ok yes I know I actually do control a lot but right now it’s the little things that are huge so don’t judge me. I would probably be judging me right now if I wasn’t me ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ life really isn’t bad it’s just not what I want right now! I got some not awesome news about my health, one of my friends is stressed, I have acne again, I feel like I’m stressing my parents out, I cut my hours at my job which cut my income ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธwhat was I thinking??? Because of my job change I can’t spend time doing something I really love with kiddos, my classes started and I haven’t even paid yet!!!!!! Im so behind on life and I really just want to take a nap! Which has nothing to do with my illness that’s just be a woman and having 5k diff things to get done. Oh and I have a family member that’s also going through stuff but I feel like they won’t say anything because of my crap! This crap illness that’s just spilling into my life๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑShana breathe and chill out ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿคซ Ok I’m back! Whew that was a close one.

So in taking a step back and breathing! I am analyzing the things that I can. I just did 10 min on the treadmill and it wasn’t much but it’s what I had in me today. I’m currently on the massage bed getting a massage and writing you guys! Funny thought I had today: my automatic answer when someone ask how are you? I say “I’m ok” or “I’m good” or the overall through the week response “I’m making it” well I realized that a lot of people who ask are reading my blog and know I’m lying Whoops! Y’all forgive me ahead of time but seriously tho no one has time to listen to “well girl my back is aching and I just want to shed my skin like a snake” hmmm๐Ÿคชthat would be pretty cool if I could๐Ÿ! Anywho you get what I’m saying. So forgive me for lying and let’s just keep it going.Let’s talk somepositive things: Update: So I started talking about positive things and headed home. I became very dizzy and my vision went blurry. I made it home but ended up falling and hitting my head. I ended up on the floor with my dog chewing faux locs. Luckily my neighbor is a nurse. I text her and my mom. My neighbor came over and checked my eyes to see if they were sluggish. The right eye was slow to respond or “extremely sluggish” which isn’t good but the left eye was fine. I stayed the night with my mom. This morning my vision is blurry, my face is numb, I’m nauseous and my head hurts very bad but I working! Lights hurt, my eyes are heavy and my body is just tired. Lol but while I’m sitting down let’s talk about some positives!!! I have a very amazing supportive system, I’m surrounded by people who are capable and willing to help. I have a doctor who listens to me. I have friends and family who are amazing! I enjoy what I do! I actually love what I do!!! I get to help people everyday and that keeps me going! It’s funny yesterday I was complaining about everything and today I wish I could go back to yesterday. It’s crazy how so much can change in a day. I am also thankful for predictive text and the ability to text without looking!! Last night that saved me ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธLord I am so grateful that last night wasn’t worse and I thank you God for sparing me! He gave me a song yesterday that said “Gods already moving on my behalf” I just have to believe it! Honestly I am a little scared on the inside but I can’t be scared and believe at the same time. I chose to believe He is going to restore my body and my mind back to the original state He created it to be and until then I will praise Him!

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Better Day

Today was a better day than yesterday! I thank all of you who prayed and who continue to pray for me daily! I appreciate your thoughts and prayers more than you will ever know!!! Today I felt better so I tried to keep it low. I went to work for 4hrs. I’ve cut my time in half and swapped jobs for now. The change will be good for me and for my body. I contacted the new doctor today and guess what guys….insert drum roll or overly dramatic music…. they called me back!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ I was shook! I forgot that doctors actually call patients back and on the same day! I felt like royalty ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿพ! Like seriously give me a freaking crown!! Ok moving on. So the doctor first said for me to not be alone and to be mindful of being alone while on the meds and blah blah blah. I told my mom and excitement grew because I haven’t stayed there since Christmas. Well then my dr called me back and took me off a few meds and lowered my dosage on some others. I’m supposed to call back in a few days if I’m not better. I’m exhausted and in pain. I posted on IG “throw the whole back away” like geez! My lower back and my tail bone have had a deep ache today. Like come on it’s the center of movement which means mine is slow right now. Despite working a shorter shift today I managed to get no rest until now๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. I will try harder tomorrow. I have to rest! It is a priority!!! My mom then went with me to GH gym to get a massage. It was very nice!! I am currently at my moms (she was excited and who am I to take that small thing away) in my old room in a nice cushy plush bed that’s smells important while laying on my heating pad. Life is pretty good!!! Just gotta not move ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ my emojis can laugh heartily but I can’t ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚! SN: I heard a commercial for something today and the really really fast part they say at the end “warning” or “side effects” were: may cause easily broken veins, small hernia, dry mouth and blood in something….. I’m no thanks!!!!!! Geez I’m wondering what on earth could you be taking the medicine for that is WORSE than the side effects๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ hmmm oh well I won’t be taking it! Pain level is around an 8 right now so please don’t stop praying!!! Whoops I dosed offโœŒ๐ŸพโœŒ๐Ÿพgoodnight all

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I Donโ€™t Know

I have another blog post that I will post soon. This post I am specifically asking for prayer. I began feeling very ill during class tonight. My body was extremely cold and my hands were like ice. I have on the mood nail polish and it was the “cold color” but I had just finished zumba and was drenched in sweat. My body shivered I was so cold in 70โ€ข weather. Two of my dedicated zisters stayed and made sure I got home because I was unable to drive. Of course my mom came to my rescue and even helped with my puppy (she’s not a dog person). I am home and in bed. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t feel good or even ok. I just don’t know. Please pray these things specifically:

1. Body temp regulated

2. Energy restored

3. Nausea lessened

4. Vision restored

5. Feeling back in hands and legs

6. Rest and restoration over the night

7. Pain decreased

I know that this is the devil because I spoke with God concerning my healing but I will tell you about that later. Thank you all in advance.

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